Remembering 9/11/01

What can I say about 9/11/01? I have to begin by saying that I am the type of person who tries not to look back and dwell in the past. Looking back on that particular day always strikes me hard with great fear and sadness.

So I try not to look back.

I was in Geometry class when the announcement was made. The principal came on the loudspeaker and told us that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. I clearly remember my geometry teacher saying “he’s just kidding!” with a big goofy smile on her face. Later, during lunch, the lights went off as another announcement was made. First one needs to know that Peabody High School is located right near a rock Quarry. So the second announcement was made to tell us that the loud destructive noises we were hearing was not in fact a bomb being launched at us, but a quarry blasting that could not be rescheduled. So much for lunch.
I went home in shock, not knowing what would happen next. All I can remember from those next few weeks is being glad that my father, scheduled to fly to Dallas on the 12th, would not be going anywhere.

Now, on the third year anniversary of the horrendous day, I want to put it all behind me. But I can’t. Not when every day the terror alert is elevated. Not when I read an article titled “Al-Queda reportedly targeting sports events” on the day I attended a Red Sox-Yankee game during the Democratic National Convention in Boston. Being the worrisome person that I am, the idea of another terrorist attack eats at me.

I have realized that 9/11 was the day I first felt fear. Everyone has their worries, and complications, but until that day few people had felt actual fear. I am talking about the kind of fear that can actually make death a tangible idea in the mind of a young person. I felt it that day, and I have felt it many times since. That fear is the impact 9/11 had, and continues to have on me.

The End of Days

What a memorable week. The day after my 19th birthday, I discover I only have 17440 days left to live. This is of course assuming the Red Sox don’t win the World Series anytime before then (I don’t think my heart could handle it). Even though I know exactly when I’m going to die, I don’t think it will alter the way I look at life. Ever since I got to Ithaca, I’ve operated under the motto “take things one day at a time.” Why spend time worrying about my impending death, when I’m struggling more and more every day to make friends and social connections? It is certainly an interesting perspective – one that might even make someone change their outlook on life. However over the past year, my perception of death has changed drastically. It was just over a year ago that my best friend’s father committed suicide by jumping off the Tobin Bridge in Boston. I watched in horror, as my friend, one of the strongest people I have ever known, break down and get consumed by the dark aura that is death. He thought about it all the time, almost studying it. How could his father have embraced such a dark fate? My friend got consumed by the idea – to the point where I feared for his safety. However, he returned to his senses, realizing that his father’s escape route was not necessary the best one. And he told me that day that he intended to take things one day at a time, and to do his best in everything. If you analyze The End too much, you lose sight of the Beginning. And so I follow that idea – one day at a time. Maybe in 17440 days I will die. But at least I’ll have died doing the best I could.

Sharing of feelings

I'm not crazy about displaying my feelings on a site that everyone can see. The potential for making a horrendous mistake that can be seen by everyone is immense - however I suppose one can work around that by being extra careful. All that being said, I personally enjoy reading the blogs and livejournals of other people, so I guess it can be done. And so in conclusion, I will try be as honest as possible when answering blog questions.

first blog thing

hey just testing...hopefully this will work!